It was 6 am. The baby was wimpering so I decided to go ahead and get up and give him a bottle. As I sat down to feed him, I turned on the tv to pass the time. Only infomercials on at 6 on a Sunday morning. So I turned on VH1 when the song "Say" came on by John Mayer. The video credits said it was from the movie The Bucket List so of course it was going to have clips from the movie in it.
Maybe it was because I was tired, but the scenes they showed hit me hard. Though I have not seen the movie, it was obvious that these men were dying. A couple of the shots took me back to 8 years ago, and some brought me to experinces that I will never had. Thoughts of my dad losing his hair, being sick in his bed and losing the battle with cancer. Thoughts of how he never knew my children and how much he would enjoy them if he were here. Especially my oldest... they would have had such a blast together!
It's crazy how little things like a music video will brign such a whoosh of emotions over me about my dad. I'm sad to say that there are many days with the craziness of life that I don't think about him but then there are days like today... and Father's Day... and Thanksgiving.
I wonder if my friends truly appreciate their time with their dads. I wish so much that he could be here. I miss your hugs and your sweetness. Your practicality and your smart aleck sense of humor (which I now carry on!)
Dad, I love you and boy are you missed.
